Love, Breakup and Life

Love, Breakup and Life
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“Hey, I want to tell you something.”
“What?”
“Um, how should I say this?” With a pause of few moments, he continued, “Well, it’s not working out. I think we should stop here.”
“We should stop? What do you mean by this?”
“I feel like we should not go ahead in this relationship. We should go on with our lives. We should enjoy our lives just like we did before meeting.”
“But, did you think about me? How difficult it will be for me to let you go?”
“Yes, I did. I am going to hang up now. We can be friends still if you want to.”
“I don’t think so. Good Bye.”

And they broke up. A relationship of two years is no more now. And they will be never with each other just like earlier days. Why would this have been happen? What could be reason? There are plenty of questions without answer.

After that day, her days were not going good. She was not able to concentrate on anything. She was emotionally into him. And suddenly it stopped. She was still thinking that he should think once and give her chance to explain herself. They should talk about it. Discuss and then come to final conclusion. But it didn’t happen. He broke up and nothing was left in their relationship. She was unable to forget him. It’s hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember. It took her time to get back to normal. His memories, sweet moments which they spent together flashed in front of her eyes. She started crying. Emotions were flowing with tears. She was getting rid of them.

Time goes by a bit slower when you miss the one you love. And that’s what was happening with her. The time period from breakup till coming back to life is a lot painful. And it’s much hard to tackle such situation. But the question still remains. Why this happens in many love stories? Why do they come to an end?
This breakup thing has become very common nowadays. We see it everywhere. A girl and a boy commit each other about standing forever, loving forever and will never leave in life. Then they fight on small things. This results in big fight sometimes and in turn the dialogs, “It’s over now. Leave me alone. Let me live my life. We should go on.” And end result is breaking up the relationship. Are these guys really in love with each other? Are they serious about their feelings? Is love a game to play? No, Love is an eternal divine thing. It’s pure and may be one of the best things in life which everyone gets and enjoys. The only thing needed is respect. One should respect love in a relationship.

We know that small fights do happen. Rather more we fight, more we love is the magical thing behind every relationship. Only thing which we should consider is to which we have to give priority. Shall we give priority to small fights or the relationship? The answer is relationship. And yes you should be emotionally into it. You should think over before breaking up. Before thinking of breakup, think once that why this relationship rested for so long? Why it is still there?

Before committing love, check once again whether you are still in love with someone or not. Most of the times people are not ready for relationship but they go for it since friends or family say it. Don’t go ahead with what people around you are saying. Don’t listen to friends or family. Also do not listen to your brain. Listen to your heart. Your heart is the one who will give you perfect answer whether yes or no. If your heart says yes then go on. Love is an eternal feeling that comes from heart and not from brain. If you really love, then you will respect the relationship and also the person too. Small fights will not affect it and relationship will continue.

Next comes is space in life. Even though you are in relationship with someone, you and him/her need own space. Love should be felt as blossom; it should not be irritating due to your actions. Please give some space to your partner. Respect him/her as a person. It’s being seen that when a girl and a boy are in love, they forget that they were friends prior to this relationship. In friendship, there is respect which is not seen in love relationship sometimes. So once should respect his/her partner as a friend too which will help in giving space.

Love, breakup are part of life. Love helps you to stand where as breakup helps you to fall. What you like to do? Stand or fall? Choice is yours.

Sunit S. Pendse
19th March 2014
Sunitpendse.blogspot.com

Mind

Mind
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Mind is a hidden body part in Human Body. Is mind part of Human Body only? Or is it of Mammals? Well, I think yes. Mammals other than Human beings also have mind. We can come to this conclusion by their actions. Have you ever seen any animal getting trained and listening to trainer? Did you observe friendship between a man and a dog? And the dog is helping him whenever needed? Did you see Tiger hunting? How it waits for long time before hunting? Those all actions shows that yes, animals also have Mind and they can think.

One of my friends once asked me, “Does mind remain in our brain or in our heart?” I laughed a lot and replied, “Need to check with our doctor!” Jokes apart, but Mind has no specific place in our body. When we think, we need help of our brain and mind helps us draw pictures of our thinking in front of our eyes. So, may be, it’s close to brain. When we dream about anything, Mind takes us to that scene that place immediately. Mind takes us on World Tour with no money needed. Mind helps us making plans.

We say often “I am not in a mood today” Is it due to tired mind? Does it need some change or rest? Is it since blocked due to many things? Is it due to illness? So many questions but there are only one answer. Mood depends on mind state indeed. Mind state is volatile so mood swings. If we are having weak mind then we will feel weaker. If we are strong minded, then we will feel stronger.

Lord Buddha once said, “We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.” If we think positively, our mind will be stronger and same with the body. Have you ever attended Self-Esteem or Personality Development sessions? My trainer used to say, “Whenever you will get up in the morning, say to yourself five times, ‘Today will be a good day for me’ and you will feel positive. Your day will be good.” We tried it but even though the days were not good, the dialogue gave us strength to tackle the situation. But is our Mind pure? Are we able to maintain purity of Mind? Are we able to think only good about everything in life? No, that’s not possible. And for that, we have to make ourselves thinking in that way. This will need practice and it will go on.

What we say is much important in life. We must think as much we can till we say anything. Just like Napoleon Hill said, “Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” Our speech makes us suffer a lot in life. Hence we shall think many times at least in critical situation which can cause either success or failure.
Dictionary definition of Mind says, “It is the non-material substance or set of processes in which consciousness, perception, affectivity, judgment, thinking, and will are based.” So our words, our actions, our dreams, our creativity, all are having one base and that is Mind. Mind plays vital role in our life being a hidden body part.

My Mind made me think of this topic today and write something. What your mind asks you to do?

Sunit S. Pendse
12th March 2014

Guilt

Guilt

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It was month of August in year 2005. We were still recovering from the disaster of 26^th July 2005 in Mumbai. Flood affected rail transport between Kalyan and Titwala stations. It was not working till next 15 days. Railways started transport on single track after 15 days and we got relief from high rented auto rickshaws and municipal buses. I was studying networking in Jetking institute those days and had to travel till Kalyan daily. I could not miss it since my career was depending on it. I remember the day when I left classroom at 8:30 PM with Trainer’s permission to catch 8:40 PM Asangaon train from Kalyan station. Since there was no train for around 1.5 hours after this train, I started running from Institute.

Two men were walking carrying something with them in plastic bag. Since I had to catch the train and I was running, I tried to avoid them but somehow that bag got pushed away and fell down. I yelled “Sorry” to them instantly and reached Railway station. When I was looking for train details on railway indicators, those two men reached me and asked me to pay some money as they were carrying medicines for their son. I felt sorry for them. I searched and found Rs. 10 note in my pocket which I gave to them. I said sorry again and rushed to catch train. During return journey, I was thinking about them and blaming myself for my wrong deed. When I reached home, I prayed to God for that boy. I prayed for his health. I am not sure whether he is alive or not, how his parents did collect the money for his medicines or not. But I still pray for him. It’s only because of one thing, that Guilt in my mind.

Guilt is an emotion that occurs when a person believes that they have violated a moral standard that they themselves believe in. When we hurt somebody close to our heart, somebody whom we respect so much, we feel bad and guilty. We feel guilty when we feel responsible for an action that we regret. There are several types of guilt. People can feel ashamed, unworthy or embarrassed about actions for which they are responsible. That does can be referred as true guilt or guilt. People can feel guilty about the events for which they are not responsible. That is the false guilt. False guilt is as painful as true guilt.

Guilt is the emotion which is connected with Shame. The dictionary meaning of Shame is “Uncomfortable or painful feeling due to recognition or consciousness of impropriety, dishonor, or other wrong in the opinion of the person experiencing the feeling. It is caused by awareness of exposure of circumstances of unworthiness or of improper or indecent conduct.” Wherever there is Guilt, there will be shame. Being ashamed, people will try to avoid their mistakes in future apart from uncontrolled situations. People will try to improve. An American writer Erma Bombeck once said “Guilt is the gift that keeps on giving.” Guilt helps you to improvise. Guilt helps you to live better life. We just need to consider our attitude towards it.

Our attitude towards guilt can be negative or positive.  One thing is sure that we can’t change the things from our past. Still if we feel guilty for some mistakes then we shall not stay with them for longer. We shall not give them room in our brain for long time. Else we will keep remembering them and their memories and it will be hard for us to live in the present world. Negative attitude towards guilt may lead to an extreme condition such as suicide. Negative guilt can lead us to failure in life, which is never good.  People shall look at guilt positively. They should learn something and lead this to success and live longer.

As like an American businessman Alan Cohen says “Guilt: punishing yourself before God doesn't”, punish yourself for the guilt and get rid of it. A small room for guilt into our memories is good but it shall not affect our lives. We shall learn something from it and take something positive out of it. The feeling of Guilt and Shame is good also. And it shall be there somewhere with us for our wrong deeds.

Sunit S. Pendse

5^th March 2014

Sunitpendse.blogspot.com