Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Guilt



Guilt
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It was month of August in year 2005. We were still recovering from the disaster of 26th July 2005 in Mumbai. Flood affected rail transport between Kalyan and Titwala stations. It was not working till next 15 days. Railways started transport on single track after 15 days and we got relief from high rented auto rickshaws and municipal buses. I was studying networking in Jetking institute those days and had to travel till Kalyan daily. I could not miss it since my career was depending on it. I remember the day when I left classroom at 8:30 PM with Trainer’s permission to catch 8:40 PM Asangaon train from Kalyan station. Since there was no train for around 1.5 hours after this train, I started running from Institute.

Two men were walking carrying something with them in plastic bag. Since I had to catch the train and I was running, I tried to avoid them but somehow that bag got pushed away and fell down. I yelled “Sorry” to them instantly and reached Railway station. When I was looking for train details on railway indicators, those two men reached me and asked me to pay some money as they were carrying medicines for their son. I felt sorry for them. I searched and found Rs. 10 note in my pocket which I gave to them. I said sorry again and rushed to catch train. During return journey, I was thinking about them and blaming myself for my wrong deed. When I reached home, I prayed to God for that boy. I prayed for his health. I am not sure whether he is alive or not, how his parents did collect the money for his medicines or not. But I still pray for him. It’s only because of one thing, that Guilt in my mind.

Guilt is an emotion that occurs when a person believes that they have violated a moral standard that they themselves believe in. When we hurt somebody close to our heart, somebody whom we respect so much, we feel bad and guilty. We feel guilty when we feel responsible for an action that we regret. There are several types of guilt. People can feel ashamed, unworthy or embarrassed about actions for which they are responsible. That does can be referred as true guilt or guilt. People can feel guilty about the events for which they are not responsible. That is the false guilt. False guilt is as painful as true guilt.

Guilt is the emotion which is connected with Shame. The dictionary meaning of Shame is “Uncomfortable or painful feeling due to recognition or consciousness of impropriety, dishonor, or other wrong in the opinion of the person experiencing the feeling. It is caused by awareness of exposure of circumstances of unworthiness or of improper or indecent conduct.” Wherever there is Guilt, there will be shame. Being ashamed, people will try to avoid their mistakes in future apart from uncontrolled situations. People will try to improve. An American writer Erma Bombeck once said “Guilt is the gift that keeps on giving.” Guilt helps you to improvise. Guilt helps you to live better life. We just need to consider our attitude towards it.

Our attitude towards guilt can be negative or positive.  One thing is sure that we can’t change the things from our past. Still if we feel guilty for some mistakes then we shall not stay with them for longer. We shall not give them room in our brain for long time. Else we will keep remembering them and their memories and it will be hard for us to live in the present world. Negative attitude towards guilt may lead to an extreme condition such as suicide. Negative guilt can lead us to failure in life, which is never good.  People shall look at guilt positively. They should learn something and lead this to success and live longer.

As like an American businessman Alan Cohen says “Guilt: punishing yourself before God doesn't”, punish yourself for the guilt and get rid of it. A small room for guilt into our memories is good but it shall not affect our lives. We shall learn something from it and take something positive out of it. The feeling of Guilt and Shame is good also. And it shall be there somewhere with us for our wrong deeds.

Sunit S. Pendse
5th March 2014
Sunitpendse.blogspot.com

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